I wanted to share with you a journey that I have been on to answer a few questions. A little over three and a half years ago I sat down with 7 of my friends on a Thursday night. I had invited them to come talk about beginning to meet on a regular basis to be more intentional in community and connect. To be honest, this meeting came out of a need in my own life. We were two years into planting Jesus Culture Sacramento and I was burnt out. I was tired, feeling isolated and realizing that the pace of ministry and the life I was living was not sustainable. The crazy thing was the things that had led to my burnout were all really good things. Family was well, my marriage was strong, the church was growing and life was good. However, I felt alone and I was neglecting some really important areas in my life. I had drifted from spiritual, emotional and physical health and along the way found myself trying to do things on my own even though I was surrounded by a rich community and incredible friends. The pace and way I was doing life was not sustainable. Something needed to change. I had begun to re-evaluate the rhythm of life and re-prioritize several areas of my life. This meeting was one of those first steps.
I began to share my heart and tell my friends that I wasn’t doing well and needed to walk with some guys and be known. I knew what this looked like because in previous seasons I had been a part of smaller groups of guys that were walking together and doing life together. A new city, new season of life and being busy had caused me to drift and neglect what I knew I needed. As I began to share and open up, right away I discovered that I wasn’t the only one in this place of needing to be known. Guys began to share, be real with where they were and some of the struggles they were facing as well. There was no shame, guilt or condemnation. Instead a freedom, peace and strength came as we stepped out of isolation and let people into our journey. We began to meet every other week later in the evening as many of us had younger kids. We each shared our stories and the dreams we had. We challenged each other to live fully alive, reminded each other of our true identity and asked hard questions. I found myself living fully alive and from my heart again. I re-prioritized my schedule to make sure I was being intentional about spiritual, emotional and physical health. I made space for fun and adventure and stepped out of isolation. This group of guys soon became a significant source of strength, encouragement and life. We had a group text where we would joke around, ask for prayer and share our lives. I remember one time I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious about a really hard meeting I had coming up. I was at the gym and physically felt the weight of this meeting. I sent a quick text to the group to ask for prayer. I knew that if I asked for prayer, these guys would actually pray for me. Literally 5 minutes after I reached out to ask for prayer, I felt the anxiety and weight I was feeling lift. This is the power of prayer and community! Remember, community doesn’t happen—it’s created. Needing other people is not a sign of weakness it’s actually a sign of strength. Real community doesn’t feel safe right away because it requires vulnerability which requires risk. Once we step out and let people in, we encounter a strength we could never find on our own. We also discover that we aren’t the only ones facing struggles or challenges in life. About a year into us meeting we began to talk about creating something like this for the men in the greater community at JC Sacramento. We knew that there were other guys who were isolated and needed the strength we had found simply by sharing our story and being known. So…two and a half years ago we created the JC Sacramento Men’s Community. I grew up in the church and many times what I experienced in men’s ministry lacked adventure and creating an environment that engaged adventure and men’s hearts. So we tried to get creative to not only call guys to more but also model what it looked like. We met every three months in random places like an airplane hanger, an open field, the mountains, a sports complex, a fight club or motorcycle shop. We usually had meat, a fire when we could and we began a journey of sharing our story and inviting other guys to do the same thing. Groups of 6 to 8 guys began to meet and share their stories and dreams. We saw some powerful things happen. Men discovered significant strength, freedom and a safe place to be known. Marriages were restored, healing happened, shame was lifted and men began or resumed the journey of living fully alive and from the heart.
Here are a couple testimonies guys shared: “I was walking in relative isolation in regards to community until a nudge from the Father.. or maybe it was my Wife. With that I said Yes to that first JC Sacramento Men’s event. I said “Yes” to going outside my comfort zone. I said “Yes” to showing up and being intentional. I said “Yes” to serving others when I was presented with the opportunity. Little did I know I was about to enter one of the most difficult seasons of my life. But this time it was different. It was different because I wasn’t alone, I had other men to lean on. I was able to share my struggles without fear of shame or judgement. I was lifted up and strengthened, my roots growing deeper as our family weathered the storm. We emerged from this season not only surviving, but thriving. I’m so incredibly thankful for the impact this community has had on our family and can’t wait to see the goodness that is in store.” - Sean “Over the last two years God has shifted my idea of what it means to be a man. I’ve learned that self-awareness, vulnerability, and self-care are what produce boldness and confidence. I’ve learned that self-reliance, emotional apathy, numbing and the hiding insecurities increases shame and dis function. I’ve learned that true confidence only comes as the fruit of being fully seen and heard by God and others. I’ve learned that in both the good and the bad times in our lives, we never stop being son’s. Ultimately I’ve learned to a greater degree how good God really is.” – Jeff This last year we started a podcast called Man Camp to invite other men beyond our community on this journey into the wild—stepping outside of isolation, the normal, mundane and status quo, to explore and discover what it means to be a man. On this podcast we share the failures, victories, perspectives and stories of men who are on the same journey to live life fully alive. We called it Man Camp because many of the most meaningful and real conversations I’ve had were around a camp fire or fire pit. There is something about getting outside and starting a fire that ignites a man’s heart. Why do I share all of this? I believe that there is a battle over the hearts of men. Many men find themselves isolated, alone and numb. Instead of finding healing and life, we medicate and distract ourselves with all sorts of counterfeit options. This leads to men leading passive, subdued and lesser lives. The result of this has a significant impact on society and families. We see this in the growing absence of fathers in society. Research and studies are showing that children without fathers are at greater risk of behavioral problems, committing crime, violence, going to prison, obesity, teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse and dropping out of high school early. Many men who overlook their hearts find themselves in addiction. Barna research did a study that found 68% of Christian men struggle with porn. They also found that 50% of pastors struggle with porn. This is not what we were created for. We often treat or react to the symptoms without going to the root issue. The answer is not dealing with the symptoms but going straight to the heart. There is good news though. It’s not hopeless, there is healing and life. Men living fully alive will live from their true identity as a son and will serve and lead their families, communities and cities. They will find healing and wholeness in community and through what Jesus already paid for on the cross. John Eldredge said something that moved me deeply on the Man Camp Podcast, “Your heart matters. God really cares about your heart. Jesus invites us on a journey to get our hearts back and live fully alive.” I want to invite as many men as possible to join us on this journey of getting our hearts back and living fully alive. In this column we are going to go after this and the areas that keep us stuck. We will share resources and stories of hope that hopefully will encourage and challenge you. Men will you join us on this journey?
This journey starts with a few things: first, ask Jesus to begin the journey of getting your heart back. Second, don’t try to do it alone—invite some other guys into your story. Third, go after being healthy and living fully alive. And while you’re at it, take a risk, go on an adventure and invite someone with you.
For more information and to listen to episodes of the Man Camp Podcast you can go to www.jesusculture.com/podcast. The podcast can be found anywhere on the platforms you listen to podcasts. You can also email us at mancamp@jesusculture.com. We would love to hear your story, answer any questions you have or simply pray for you. You can also follow us on Twitter or Instagram at @mancamp_podcast.
Zack Curry is a pastor at JC Sacramento who is passionate about family, impacting culture and seeing men live fully alive to serve the world.