From The Good Life To The God Life
Sometimes, it takes going through hell to fully embrace Heaven, so-to-speak. In a perfect world, we wouldn’t have to struggle. There would be no pain, no suffering, but then we wouldn’t experience real triumph if everything was leveled out. The lows make the highs in a sense, but it doesn’t cheapen the sting. As we dive deep into Paul Di Giordano’s history, we’ll see how God remarkably plucked him out of death’s grip and shaped his relationship with darkness into the sweetest, unending high of his life.
If we’re honest, it usually feels like we’re playing “hide and seek” with our purpose (as it can take years to discover our true calling). But just because it’s typically hard to find, it doesn’t mean we weren’t already born with it. God, as the brilliant planner He is, already had amazing plans for Paul’s life before he was even a thought. Unfortunately, Satan knew this too, and he didn’t wait for Paul to grow up before he came to steal, kill and destroy him.
The Fall
Right as Paul transitioned into public high school, the enemy used his parents’ divorce to plant disappointment in his heart. This was the root of the pain he felt for years. The foundation he once had from being very sheltered, raised in church and through a Christian school, got buried with negativity and loads of family stress. His life got flipped, turned upside down in the blink of an eye. He took on weight after weight, not knowing how to cope with all the struggles he faced. He needed Jesus, really, but that wasn’t an option for him at that point.
The truth Paul once knew never left him, he just couldn’t see clearly anymore as he fell away from Jesus completely. Satan robbed him of his innocence. Vulnerable, the enemy picked him off and planted him where he was never meant to be. And too naïve to recognize the destructive road he was on, he walked straight into the reckless hellhole that swallowed him up for the decade to follow.
Living the High Life (While Feeling Low)
Throughout high school, Paul became known as “The Party Guy.” It was during those years that he learned to shove his feelings down. He ignored reality by dabbling in weed at first, and it wasn’t long before he depended on alcohol and other drugs to keep him calm inside. For as much partying he did as a teen, it was only preparation for the craziness he’d get into in his early twenties. After graduating, he started to work for his dad’s company. And he was already knowledgeable in business, so it was easy for him to climb the ranks and start funding his wild, partying lifestyle. By twenty-two, he made around $100,000 a year. This early success kept up his reputation; he bought nice cars and moved out into his own place in Downtown Sacramento.
What seems like clear success for Paul was just the enemy’s bait. Satan lured him in by disguising death with all kinds of sinful pleasures. He got connected to the richest party guys (including some hotshot celebrities); engulfed in the hottest partying community, he never planned to change. Monday—he partied hard. Tuesday—he partied hard. Wednesday—he partied hard. Thursday—he partied hard. He’d travel to Vegas and wherever else the hottest parties were, then on Friday nights, he’d usually hit the local nightclubs. After partying for four days straight during the week, he says, “I’d party all night (Friday), end up at some big mansion after-party. I’d be doing drugs all night long, and I’d roll right into a pool party the next day, popping pills now at this point. Partying all day and then back out at the nightclub Saturday night, partying all night in the nightclub, talkin’ to different girls. Then Sunday I’d be on a yacht on the river and still doing cocaine with some random girl. This is where I was at, getting deeper and deeper into drugs—just this whole lifestyle.”
Paul states, “One thing about the partying scene is, like, the enemy continues to give you more and more and more and more and more of the world, that’s how he lures you. But at the same time, you’re going deeper and deeper and deeper into bondage.” Just like Scripture teaches, he gained the world yet lost his soul. Over the years of partying hard, non-stop, he tried every drug imaginable. He was so desperate to suppress the pain that surfaced when the drugs wore off. He did whatever it took to stay high, that when the impact of depression hit, he felt lower and lower every time. He was stuck in a never-ending cycle, but he says, “Even though I was still broken all the time, I didn’t ever really want to change my life. I just kind of wanted to be that guy that continued to make money and just have the pleasures of the world.”
Ecstacy, the Catalyst
By this time in his life, Paul heavily relied on cocaine to keep him sane. It was his preferred drug. But there was this one instance where he couldn’t get a quick fix—it’s the very night that sparked the radical change in his life just a few months down the road. It was three in the morning when he was completely blacked-out drunk (partying as usual, in Lake Tahoe). He texted everybody he knew for cocaine because he needed to keep himself up, but nobody responded. Finally, a guy messaged him back saying that he didn’t have cocaine, but he did have ecstasy. Being in the reckless state he was in, Paul decided to buy the entire bag of 200 ecstasy pills.
Desperate for an instant high having slowed down from the all the alcohol, Paul took six ecstasy pills right off the bat. Then every fifteen minutes or so, his buddy would come around and say, “Hey Paul, I’ve got something for you,” throwing a pill up in the air. He’d run around the hotel room, catching them in his mouth like it was some game. He ended up taking about fifty-something pills that night, going into the next day. “I should’ve ended up in the hospital, should’ve had my stomach pumped—I’m definitely a walking miracle,” Paul said.
The Epiphany
Somehow, Paul got through this particular weekend, but he woke up Monday morning with terrible anxiety. (He never felt anxiety so strongly in his life—he actually never felt anxiety up until this point.) But even in the midst of all this chaos, he heard a still, small voice say, “Paul, you’ve got to change your life. You can’t keep living this way.” Upon hearing this out of no where, his life flashed before his eyes.
Paul remembers it happening just like this. He said, “It showed me as a young kid, all these times my mom would take me to church, dress me up in a little tuxedo and just all these memories of going to this Christian school, great friends and all this stuff. Then it showed my parents, arguing within the home. Then it showed their divorce. Then it showed all the hurts and pains I was kind of shoving and suppressing—shoving down. From there, it showed me spiraling at a party. (At this point, I can see I’m fifteen to twenty-five, so ten years of just partying, drinking, drugs, women—it just showed all of it.) Then it showed me at twenty-five years old in this dark place. Then, the epiphany stopped. I was just left there with this image seared in my mind, of this dark place that I was in.”
A Taste of Hell, the Absence of God’s Presence
All of a sudden, confusion set in. Paul couldn’t understand how he got to this place at twenty-five years old. Before he knew it, everything he’d been trying to suppress for ten years all came up at once. The thoughts just started flooding his mind and they wouldn’t relent. Over and over, he tried to get his mind to quit, but his anxiety was so high that he couldn’t even get a wink of sleep.
Paul spiraled into insomnia and depression and anxiety. After the fourth day of not being able to sleep, he came home and as he saw the sun beginning to set, he wondered, “Am I going to be able to sleep?” Immediately, fear gripped him as he thought to himself. Then while lying in bed, things started to happen in his room that weren’t at all natural. He said, “Dark presences started attacking me, coming at me. Every time I laid down to go to sleep, I felt like something was trying to suck the life literally out of my body—sucking my soul out of my body. It was the scariest thing.” It got so bad that he could barely function right and he eventually had to quit going to work.
Like the people who were oppressed in the Bible, Paul became mute. He found himself living at his dad’s house because he was too scared to be by himself. The torture persisted that much, and one day after not being able to do a simple task around the house, he felt extremely helpless.
Paul put all his energy in trying to clear the dishwasher, but he couldn’t (for the life of him) find the right cupboard to put a single cup away. He broke down on the kitchen floor, weeping, thinking, “This is what death feels like—I’m gonna die today.” He felt a darkness on him. Death and darkness. And he knew that if he died, he wasn’t going somewhere good.
The Rising
What felt like a point of no return became the point of real breakthrough. Paul wasn’t ready for what was about to happen. Still weeping, he got up and sat on the couch in the living room. He turned the TV on, started flipping through. Then out of nowhere, he heard a Pastor start to preach. The Pastor said, “Rise above—you can do it— rise above.” Right then and there, he heard a small voice (the same voice that spoke to him four months prior about changing his life). The voice said, “Look down.” He looked down and on his chest, he read his own tattoo that says, “Rise Above,” which was exactly what the man preached on the TV. Again the voice spoke and said, “Paul, I was with you when you got that tattoo. I knew this day was going to come. I love you and I have plans for you.”
Instantly, Paul felt the power and the presence of God fall from the top of his head and it shot down his whole, entire body. He said, “Where I felt death, I felt life. Where I felt hopelessness, I felt hope. Where I felt anxiety, I felt peace. God completely transformed and liberated me from everything that held me down. And I was literally born again, right then and there.”
In that moment, Paul knew that Jesus came to save him and with Holy Spirit, he had an undeniable encounter. He became a fresh, new creation in Christ. Soon, he dove into Scripture and went through ministry school (where he grew and solidified the purpose of all he went through).
All it takes is one encounter with the living God to be fully transformed—spirit, soul and body. Paul literally went from death to life in an instant, all because God patiently waited for the perfect timing to move on his heart. Since his miraculous encounter, Paul got the revelation that not only was he lost, but the people he used to party with are still lost—God just plucked him out. Because the Lord allowed him to feel what hell is going to feel like, he now lives with this burning passion that says, “I can’t see a generation just walk down this path anymore. I can’t see those that are falling into this lifestyle and just being deceived every weekend—I can’t see this happening anymore.”
Plans and Purpose
Real, authentic things aren’t cheaply made. It always costs more for quality (and God prefers quality over quantity). What Paul lived through was no walk in the park; it cost him so much more than I can articulate in this article. He went through the pain, he suffered in ways that no human should have to experience. But it’s his legitimate story. And the authenticity of his testimony is what will bring real change to those still lost in the partying scene. He says, “My whole life mission now is to go and reach people, and more specifically, this people group.” So even though he got a real taste of hell, it really wasn’t for nothing. Because God got a hold of him, a stirring was birthed in his heart. The specific trials he faced has uniquely shaped the passionate and powerful man of God he is today.
Welcome to the New Norm
Paul is the founder of Lounge of Life and is dedicated “to create an alternative nightlife experience, giving people a safe place to socialize without feeling the pressures of excessive drinking, drugs, and promiscuity (which is the norm), while consequently building a bridge of hope for those that feel stuck in this destructive lifestyle.” He just launched Pure Friday Pop Ups in April of this year and he’s dedicated to solve the problem by “being all things to all men, meeting a generation right where they are, one weekend at a time,” Paul says. He understands that partiers are partiers because they just want to have fun and be in community.
God never made the mess Paul was in, but He’s surely using it all to work together for good. I’ve heard it said once that “what causes you the most pain becomes your purpose in life.” After getting a glimpse of Paul’s story, it’s evident that he’s found his purpose through his pain and suffering. Never going back to the pleasures that seduced him, he’s a walking testimony, living high on Christ and fully surrendered to give God glory.
