Redemption is God’s specialty. He loves to take what’s broken and make it more beautiful than it was to begin with (like beauty from ashes, Isaiah 61:3). He waits, patiently, for us to succumb to His beckoning call. His heart breaks when we take turns that pk-callout us away from His heart, because His original design has always been for us to live the abundant life with Him. There’s not a moment that goes by that He isn’t longing to be close to us. He is all about relationship. Through the powerful testimony of Mark J. The Poet, we get to see exactly how God used healthy community to break bondage and restore a family torn apart by a real addiction to pornography.
Mark J. had a healthy upbringing in a Christian household. His parents trained him and his three siblings in the way they should go by being the best examples they could be. He saw life with Christ modeled right before his eyes, with his dad as Pastor and his mom as Worship Leader. Growing up in the faith, he recalls feeling a pull to minister to people that started developing since childhood. He remembers getting visions at the young age of thirteen. He says, “I’d have these visions of myself—I would just be in the restroom, combing my hair or something and I would just start preaching to myself in the mirror, just imagining this sermon and people responding to Christ.” The enemy couldn’t wait to get his hands on him because of this; he became a walking target early on. Satan aimed to steal his identity, strategically planning to kill and destroy his passion to serve the Lord.
Addicted to Pornography
Curiosity, a Trap
Just like we’re warned in 1 Peter 5:8, the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion, looking to devour us when we’re weak. Mark J. had an innocent curiosity that got the best of him. He was homeschooled and needed the Internet to do his schoolwork, so he says, “Of course one day when nobody was around at the house, I started typing all these words. And for the first time, I was exposed to pornography. (I didn’t know what that was at the time—I didn’t even know that word.)” This single moment was all it took for the enemy to creep in and have his way. Mark J. had no clue how it was affecting him since he was too young to have a grid for it. All he felt inside was, “Okay, this is wrong. This is bad, but I’m too afraid to tell anyone.” Believing the enemy’s lies, he got hooked right then and there and the addiction progressed pretty quickly.
Mark J. says, “Lies were a huge part of my struggle.” With no concept of healthy vulnerability and community, the enemy got him to believe that it would be weird if he told anyone, and that likely no one else was struggling like he was. Ashamed, he wanted to figure things out on his own and thought he could just handle it all under wraps. He sincerely believed he could overcome the addiction just by fasting more and praying more (deceived in isolation). But it was this very lie that kept him entangled all throughout high school and long after he graduated. Too afraid to talk to his parents, too afraid to tell his friends, no one knew the struggle he was going through.
Porn Kills
Without practical guidance, without substantial community, Mark J. wasn’t prepared to dig deep and get help. Instead of being honest about his secret addiction (that continued as he served the church), he thought that having a wife could possibly solve his unspoken issues. He got married to his beautiful wife Alicia, started a family—it was picture-perfect in mind’s eye. But since the negatives of his past were never brought into the light, he started to lose the God-given connection with his wife. This heavy addiction to selfplease himself crept straight into his marriage. He found himself going insane, trying to hide his ways. Closing the tabs and clearing the history still couldn’t erase the shame. He was so desperate to keep his secret that he bore the weight of negative nervousness. For a while, he lived a double life. Over time, porn really consumed him and his addiction to a false reality caused him and his wife to separate. At this point, the enemy thought he’d won by breaking their family apart.
Love Heals
Here he was, undone and in denial—Mark J. tried to get away from his hidden problems. Even after losing everything he cared about, he still sought affirmation in all the wrong places. But no matter how stubborn we are or how far we get away, we’re never out of God’s reach. Buried under guilt and shame, God brought him a healthy connection. His younger brother’s friend reached out—he showed him real and radical love. In this time of separation, God gave him a way out (just as He promises) and a miracle was on the horizon. Through this new friendship, he felt safe enough to open up about the years of hidden secrets. They finally rose to the surface as he was willing to be exposed. He began to tell the truth (and as the Bible clearly teaches), it began to set him free. “Honesty is Satan’s kryptonite,” says Mark J. The moment he started admitting the truth and being honest about his actions, the enemy had no choice but to loosen his hold on him. The more Mark J. opened up, the more community he discovered. Vulnerability was the breeding ground for the breakthrough he desperately needed. After pushing through, seeking guidance from trusted leaders and digging deeper into a small group, it was the healthy community and vulnerability that restored him, and to this day has kept him free. Because of the help he gained through honesty, Mark J. got to reunite with his wife. She stayed faithful and never gave up on him, trusting that God would save him. Today, their family of four is thriving as they’re healthily planted in community.
It’s just like the enemy to try to destroy our dreams and destinies. But, if we remember, he doesn’t have that kind of power over us “for God’s gifts and His call are irrevocable” (Romans 11:29). Now set free from the pornography addiction that held him captive for years, Mark J. The Poet has a real story to tell. He has a lot to say. Fueled by creativity, he has a fiery passion for spoken word (birthed at the age of eighteen) that God’s using to encourage community. And with his tender heart for this issue, God’s raising him up to lead men all across the country, by teaching them the importance of connection. As authentic as his testimony is, the Lord keeps using it to break the chains of the ones who are still struggling.
Go to www.markjthepoet.com for help and encouragement if you or someone you know struggles with this issue.
